1) Make your decisions early and stand firm by them.
The most important decisions in planning your party come way before the invitations go out. Decide the type of party, location, and a loose schedule of events. While it's good to be flexible, it's indubitably very difficult to keep a large number of people well-informed to changes. The larger the event, the less flexibility you should have in changing big things like the location. I say have a loose schedule because there's no point in stressing yourself out when things happen to go a little off schedule. I guess you should think of as more like knowing a general order of events rather than a schedule. Having a general plan will help you fend off people who are sitting around bored because nothing is happening and it doesn't feel like anything is going to happen either... it also helps quell that whole "what are we going to do now/next" problem that happens a lot at gatherings which tend to result in everyone just sort of hanging around.
Some tips:
- Instead of straining yourself to work around everyone else's schedules, pick a date slightly off in the distance. If it's too short notice, people will most likely have made plans. If it's too far off, no one will be able to respond to you soon because no one will know their plans. It's hard to give a general guideline because it depends on the type of lifestyles your guests lead. Most of my friends are early to mid-twenties so their schedules are pretty flexible and short-term; I think 2-4 weeks in advance is a good amount of time.
- Since you're the one hosting it, most people will tend to follow your direction pretty well. Don't leave major decisions like 'what to do after you eat' to your guests. Some smaller decisions, like voting on a movie to watch, will help adapt the party to your guests. Like any group of people, a leadership position needs to be filled, particularly if the guests aren't all familiar with each other.
- Don't doubt yourself too much! Of course, have the ability to change something if it's really not working out (e.g. a particular type of food costs too much for x number of people), but don't torment yourself with whether or not other things will be "better" choices. Remember, parties are meant to be enjoyed.
2) Know your guest list
Choose your guests wisely. If people have problems with other people, don't invite both sides. If you don't want to forced to choose a side, try to see if a temporary ceasefire can be negotiated. (I.e. Talk to both sides, saying that you want to have him/her/them there but really want to avoid any problems and see if your pals are willing to put differences aside for a short time. If not, I would either suggest not inviting either side or just inviting the side that was willing to cooperate.)
Another problem at events has been "the loner." This is the person who just one of your friends and not part of a group of friends, who might have a difficult time mingling because the group is already tight-knit. Solutions to this problem include: inviting his/her mate, telling him/her to bring a friend, or avoiding the big group thing altogether. I used to be pretty bad about mixing friends but I've wised up to it -- pick out only your individual closest friends and prepare a way of introducing them. For example, mentioning the friends a few times to one another before introducing and saying"the one I told about" is one potential way. Another is introducing them by name and then mentioning something that you already know they have in common. Another good way to get everyone involved (and not having anyone wind up alone in a corner) is to incorporate group activities in which everyone must participate. This means activities that involve rotation through the individuals (everyone has a turn), not activities in which one person takes charge and the others follow.
As you're hosting, be sure to walk around a lot. This will prevent you from spending all your time with one person or group and therefore discourage any resentment if anyone gets little or no attention after being invited to your party. Also, this will help keep you up-to-the-minute on how the the party is going because you'll be getting feedback from all over the place. If there is anyone there that you don't know, make sure you meet them. This is part of good hospitality but mostly it's just weird to leave a party without even meeting the person that threw it. Maybe it's acceptable for frat boys but we're talking about events that don't involve you waking up in strange places. Anyhow, guests should not just be names on a list to you. Make the effort to get in a few words with your guests and it'll go a long way.
The last thing big point about knowing your guest list is RSVP's and follow-ups. Try to get everyone to RSVP as soon as possible. An accurate count makes a huge difference when it comes to preparing things such as food, drinks, and utensils. If anything should change, tell your guests to contact you ASAP. If someone doesn't respond, follow up. If they don't respond to the follow-up, discount them. If they don't bother to RSVP then there's no real point in putting in the extra effort to keep them informed about the details of the event. I know it's kind of harsh but event planning isn't an easy task and your guests don't need to make it harder by not cooperating with your need for information.
3) Communication
In conjunction with your "stand by your decisions," effective communication is key to a smoothly executed event. This means many things but first and foremost, it means you must be clear and understandable in all your communication. If you hold something at a restaurant, make sure your directions specify exactly which one it is so there's no confusion. Allow for people who have no idea where it is. (E.g. Instead of "the one near my house," use "the one on the corner of X and Y streets, near That One Store.")
Communication is easier in this day and age with the advance of technology and forms of communication that allow for mass info flow such as email and FaceBook. I planned my latest event on FaceBook (which is the current most popular social networking site, for those of you who have been living under a rock) and it made it very easy for me to message everyone at the same time and coordinate information like who was bringing what dish to the potluck. Also for this event, I modified a Google map with detailed instruction on how to get into the building. Google Maps now has these wonderful features where you can plop placemarks and draw lines on any maps of your choice and save it to your profile, where you can share it with the world or privately to your friends. Here's more information -- My Maps (Google Maps).
Inform everyone of details and developments. For the potluck, I wanted to avoid a repeat of my last potluck where we had no real food but lots of store-bought dessert so I specified that everyone should try to bring a real dish. Most people did and those who didn't still purchased something more substantial than chips or ice cream.
Be accessible. If people have questions, be available to answer them. The last 24 hours before your event begins are probably the most essential and shame on you if you don't have your phone on for them.
4) Greetings, Valedictions, and Thanks
Your guests are what make your event a party. Without them, all you have is an empty venue and a lot of uneaten food. Therefore, any and all efforts to show your appreciation will (most of the time) be well-received and make you look very gracious and humble. If possible, greet all your guests and exchange small talk with everyone. Smile, make little jokes, and be pleasant.
Valediction is really just a fancy term for saying farewells. Thank everyone for coming when they leave. Say you enjoyed having them and you should do this more often. Make sure people know their way out (out of building, back to freeway, etc.).
Thank everyone afterward. Thank you notes or emails are simple and effective, and it gives the event closure. This is also the time to make any announcements about things discovered after the event, such as left-behind jackets. For events that involved gifts, it's better to write personal thank notes for the attendance and the gift. For an event that is centered around social activity rather than a single person, a broad generic one is acceptable. The Simple Dollar has a wonderful article on how to write thank you notes.
On that note, thanks for reading and comments are most appreciated.
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